


I Hate Everything About You

by ladykardasi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, Banter, Bickering, Blow Jobs, Cliche, Cross-Generation Relationship, Cunnilingus, F/M, Fellatio, First Time, Foul Language, HEA, HG/SS, HP:EWE, Humor, Matchmaking, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Professor Hermione Granger, Romance, Severus Snape Lives, Sex, Smut, Snark, Swearing, Tropes, forced together, ss/hg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-14 00:32:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14759241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladykardasi/pseuds/ladykardasi
Summary: Hermione Granger and Severus Snape are constantly at each other’s throats, but when they find themselves in a predicament together they are forced to set their differences aside, no matter how difficult.Snape put his hands over his face as though he had a blistering headache.“What the fuck?” he echoed her thoughts just moments before.“You just threw up, you bastard. In the bed!” she replied.Slowly, he turned around to look at her.“No shit? I was there, remember?” he snarked at her; then, as though finally gathering his wits, he looked around, seemingly as confused as she had been moments ago.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Beta:** Ms_Anthrop, lilsherlockian1975  
>  **A/N:** The premise to this story is inspired by the season 7, _Star Trek: The Next Generation episode, “Attached”._  
>  **Disclaimer:** All recognisable characters belong to J.K. Rowling and her associates. I am only playing with them and will polish them and put them back on the shelf after I’m done. No money is ever being made from my fanfiction, only fun and enjoyment.

**I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU**

_And I, get sick when I'm around,_  
 _I, can't stand to be around_  
 _I, hate everything about you!_

_Some say I got a bad attitude,_  
_But that don't change the way I feel about you,_  
_If you think all this might be bringing me down,_  
_Look again cause I ain't wearin' no frown!_

_Ugly Kid Joe – Everything About You © As Ugly As They Wanna Be 1992_

 

Chapter 1

“You are such a bastard, Snape!” she snarled, inwardly shocked at how he had once _again_ gotten so deeply under her skin that she couldn’t help herself. Her tendency to expect anyone to always refer to him as Professor Snape was long forgotten. 

He hadn’t really done anything differently than he had a million times before. And bickering and arguing and getting in each other’s faces were nothing new to them either. 

“And you are a simpering cow!” Snape goaded her calmly, crossing his arms across his chest and lifting that infernal eyebrow at her. 

But that calm, even and melodious voice was the worst thing. It was so infuriating she wanted – oh, how she wanted – to slap his smug face. Her hands practically _itched_ to do it. And she wasn’t normally given to violence. But Snape … _argh!_

“I’m not a simpering cow just because I can talk to my students without demeaning them and making them feel insecure!” she hissed. She still heard her students complain about their DADA professor every chance they got. He was still as dour, annoying and unbearable as he had always been. 

“No, you try to be their _friend._ ” He spat out the word as though it tasted badly. “How will they ever respect you if they think you are their friend? No wonder they’re a boisterous, babbling, insane mess when they come to my class after yours. It takes ten minutes to get them to settle down enough to start the lesson!”

“It’s better than sending them away crying!” Hermione retorted. Not that something like that had happened – recently. She was sure it had happened many times since he’d done it to her.

~¤>)§@§(<¤~

Both of them were apparently so into that same, damned, old argument that they didn’t notice the elderly Headmistress watching them as she approached. She shook her head tiredly and walked up the stairs to her offices. She had no wish to get between them again. Having tried to mediate on numerous occasions, she knew it was futile. The fact that they were standing in the middle of a corridor at Hogwarts, heedless of students and faculty alike was only one of the problems.

“They’re at it again,” she said tiredly to the former Headmaster’s portrait as she entered her office. “I’m at a loss what to do. They are making the situation intolerable for the other teachers. And I can’t find it in my heart to dismiss either of them. They’re both exceptional teachers.”

Dumbledore sighed, and nodded, while thoughtfully stroking his long, white beard. “It would be a shame now that we’ve finally filled the position with the best possible DADA teacher.”

Snape had taken over the position when he returned to Hogwarts after the war. And when Slughorn had died last year, they’d offered the position of Potions to Hermione Granger. They were both doing a wonderful job, despite their methods at teaching being diametrically different. While Snape was his usual strict, no-nonsense, and sometimes cruel self, Hermione Granger was patient, friendly and very well-liked by her students. She wasn’t the simpering cow that Snape accused her of being, and Snape was hardly the bastard he had once been, but it seemed they were both stuck in the preconceived notions of one another and it was impossible to get either of them to see reason. 

“At least the term is at an end,” Minerva sighed. “We’ll have some time to rest from their incessant bickering during the summer. Then I’ll have another discussion with them. I just cannot do it right this moment. But somehow we just have to get them past this…thing.” 

Dumbledore nodded, his normally twinkling eyes thoughtful and not just a little bit concerned.

~¤>)§@§(<¤~

When Hermione woke up, she thought she was still dreaming. She was wearing her night clothes and lying on a bed in a room that was completely white. Bed, floor, roof and walls were clean and crisp, and the monotony of the white was broken up only by a door opening to another room and a window. The window was looking out at a pristine, sandy and sunny beach. Beyond that there was an uninterrupted clear, blue sea. It looked like Paradise. Hermione leaned back into the comfortable bed and stretched luxuriously – as dreams went, this wasn’t a bad one. At least not until …

Turning her gaze to the side, she was shocked to see another person beside her on the bed. The person was lying on their stomach, breathing deeply with their face turned away from her. They were obviously still asleep, and Hermione’s stomach lurched when her she realized who the person must be. That long, inky black and lank hair could only belong to one person: Professor Snape.

_Of course. This wasn’t Paradise. This was Hell._

She automatically reached for her wand. Of course, she didn’t have it. It’s not like she usually brought it into the bed with her, so it wasn’t on her person. Looking around, she realized there was nothing on the floor beside the bed either. In fact, there was no wand anywhere in this room. What had so far been a rather pleasant awakening – or dream – had turned into a nightmare in the blink of an eye. Hermione pinched herself, hard, but all that happened was she let out a surprised yelp and the pain spread through her arm. She would most likely bruise. She did not, however, wake up. 

Scrambling off the bed, she stood and almost got tangled in the flimsy, gauzy netting around the four-poster bed. The floor was made up of smooth, wooden planks, cool under her feet, and everything felt so _real_. The surroundings felt nothing like a dream, which wouldn’t have been a nightmare exactly, if it hadn’t been for that _man _lying in the bed.__

__Hermione shot a look over her shoulder._ _

___Right, still there._ _ _

__How the hell had she ended up here? With Snape no less? The last thing she remembered was going to bed after dinner in the Great Hall after the students had left for the summer break. Then…nothing until she woke up here. A glass of wine for dinner, no Dreamless Sleep and nothing._ _

__She slowly moved out of the bedroom not wanting to wake the sleeping man. Whenever he woke up she’d most definitely be long gone. Far away from that bed that they had apparently _shared_. She took another step. _ _

___What the fuck?_ _ _

__A wave of nausea washed over her so intensely that it made her fall to the floor on all fours. Hermione was for a moment certain that she was going to be sick._ _

__A noise came from the bed. It was Snape, and he _was_ throwing up. Violently. _ _

__“Not in the bed, you prick!” Hermione groaned, and forced herself to her feet. “Honestly! What’s _wrong_ with you?” _ _

__The stench was abominable. Hermione put a hand in front of her mouth and nose, and started backing away from the room again. The same thing happened. She was overcome by a wave of nausea and Snape, trying to roll out of bed, started retching again._ _

__Hermione wasn’t stupid. Apparently, there was some correlation between their proximity and how they felt._ _

__“Oh, crap,” she swore and moved closer to the bed and to Snape. Immediately, the wave of nausea dissipated, although the smell of Snape’s vomit was almost bad enough to make her sick anyway._ _

__Snape put his hands over his face as though he had a blistering headache._ _

__“What the fuck?” he echoed her thoughts just moments before._ _

__“You just threw up, you bastard. In the bed!” she replied._ _

__Slowly, he turned around to look at her._ _

__“No shit? I was there, remember?” he snarked at her; then, as though finally gathering his wits, he looked around, seemingly as confused as she had been moments ago._ _

__“Yeah, yeah,” she said and waved her hand in the air. “I have no idea where we are, what we’re doing here and why we’re here together. But apparently, we have to stay in close proximity or…that…happens. “ She distastefully indicated the sick on the edge of the bed and the wooden floor._ _

__“Indeed. I’ve said many times that your saccharine teaching methods make me sick,” he snarled. “It just never manifested itself quite so…literally…before.”_ _

__Not caring one iota that he wasn’t alone, he rose to his feet._ _

__And Hermione got a prime view of his – very naked – arse._ _

__“Woah there, Snape. Don’t make me go blind!” Hermione lifted her hands and put them across her eyes. She would never admit aloud that she thought his arse was…pretty decent._ _

__Actually, _really nice…_ _ _

___No way. I did not just think that!_ _ _

__“Do you have your wand?” he asked. He suddenly sounded amused. That bristled._ _

__“They’re not here,” she explained still hiding behind her hands. “No wands, at least not in here – and could you, I don’t know, cover up somehow?”_ _

__“You don’t have to be in here if you don’t like the view.” She could hear the leer in his voice. He was enjoying this, the git!_ _

__Deciding that if he wasn’t self-conscious about his nudity, she wouldn’t care either. She took away her hands from her eyes. She shouldn’t have._ _

__Frontal view._ _

___Shit, heart attack imminent. What the fuck? Was he part centaur?_ _ _

__“Why haven’t you looked elsewhere?” he asked._ _

___Because it’s hard to look elsewhere,_ she thought. _ _

__But he was apparently oblivious to her red cheeks and her rather fruitless attempts at just _not_ looking. _ _

__“I was trying to when you found it impossible to not throw up in the bed,” she explained in a tone she would use when talking to a three-year-old, or an imbecile. Or when desperately trying to gather her wits about her._ _

__“You cannot be serious,” he said, diligently avoiding the mess on the floor, then walked toward the door, still not giving a flying fuck that he was walking around without a thread on him._ _

___It’s a bit much,_ Hermione thought. _Or, rather, not enough. Clothes that is.__ _

__Being used to his body being covered from neck to toe in unforgiving, buttoned-up, stern, black, seeing him like…this, was disconcerting. Yes, disconcerting was the word she was looking for. Wasn’t it?_ _

__He hadn’t reached many steps outside the room before the nausea returned. “Oh, for fuck’s sake!” he snarled, and his hand shot out, grabbing her right arm, precisely where she’d tried to pinch herself earlier._ _

__“Ow, you brute! That hurt!” Hermione squeaked, and her reflex was to simply plant a fist in his torso._ _

___Naked. Skin. Naked. Snape. Naked._ _ _

__“Don’t be a wuss,” he grunted. “If I must suffer your obnoxiously close proximity, get a move on. I need to find my wand.”_ _

__Hermione’s mind of course had to go there, but pushing that stupid thought away, she couldn’t really fault his words, no matter how much she wanted to. Wearing slightly less clothes than she would have preferred, she still felt well covered compared to other people she knew of._ _

__“Isn’t there anything in that room in there that you can put on?” Hermione pleaded and waved her hand generally toward the bedroom. She hated that whiny tone of voice, but damn, she…he…it… not _that, you pervert…_ Disconcerting._ Yes. _

_“I want to find my wand, first,” Snape repeated. “I could transfigure something to wear from those bed linens, and I need my wand to get rid of that vomit and the stench.”_

_Again, no matter how much she wanted to argue, she could find no fault with his reasoning._

__

~¤>)§@§(<¤~

They moved through the house, which was a small stone cottage, right on the beach. The walls on the outside were as white, crisp and pristine as the inside. It was very small, no more than a bedroom, bathroom and small kitchen. And, so far, no wands.

“Where the hell are we?” Hermione muttered. “There’s just this house, and an effing swimming pool of all things! It looks like one of those Muggle vacation paradises, except there’s not another cottage in walking distance as far as I can see.” 

“It is a conundrum,” Snape admitted, and they went back into the house. 

“For the love of Merlin, Snape, let’s find something for you to wear,” Hermione said. She had been quiet about it for the entire time they’d checked the house and the surroundings. But to be quite honest, walking through the house, being forced to stay within five meters of a starkers Snape, or risking a violent bout of vomiting was grating on her nerves. 

“Fine,” he groused. “I didn’t know you were such a prude, Granger.” 

“I’m not a prude!” she replied shrilly. 

But, maybe he had a point. It was just…Snape. Naked. 

_And why do those words sound like Ronald’s voice in my head?_

It’s just the first time in her life she actually realized that Snape was a man. Hermione couldn’t remember any time in her life when those two words had been in the same sentence. She really hadn’t thought about it before. Now, it was apparently the only thing she _could_ think of. 

“Right,” he replied provocatively. “You’re acting as though you’ve never seen a naked man before.”

“Piss off.” 

“Would that I could, dear,” he replied with a smirk. 

With Hermione fuming – why did he always grate on her so? – they returned to the bedroom, close together so as to avoid any unpleasantness. 

Upon their return there were items on the bed – that was clean and made up. 

“What?!” Hermione burst out. “Someone’s been here while we were gone.”

He snorted. “Obviously.”


	2. Chapter 2

* * * 

Yep, there were clothes, Hermione determined. For her, a blouse and a very short skirt and some clean underwear. Pretty much what she would have worn any other summer’s day when she wasn’t working at Hogwarts. Or maybe a little bit longer skirt, but other than that, it was her normal attire. For him. The same. Not the same as her clothing, mind you, but clothing he usually wore. Although, Hermione was quite sure he wouldn’t have chosen that to wear on this island had he been allowed to choose. There were a pair of long, black trousers. Wool. Oh dear. And his customary white shirt, that she’d only seen peeking out from atop his frock coat before. And then the frock of course. Hermione had a feeling that wasn’t going to get much wear. 

“Where is your underwear, Snape?” she asked icily. 

He turned toward her, still starkers. “I don’t usually wear pants,” he said archly. “They’re too constricting.”

_With_ that _in your pants, I bet it’s true,_ she thought. 

Hermione just wished he’d put something on. She, herself, grabbed the blouse and moved toward the doorway, thinking she would use the bathroom to change clothes. She didn’t get far, however, before Snape groaned, and not in a good way. 

“Stop right there,” he choked out and put a hand across his mouth. It appeared that he was more sensitive to their proximity than her – or lack thereof as it were. This time around, she hadn’t even noticed any nausea, but if he got sick, she had to stop. So, she did, and took a couple of tentative steps closer to him. Snape sighed gratefully. He was standing only two meters away from her. 

“Thank you,” he sighed. 

“This is unbearable,” said Hermione and frowned. “This means we’re going to have to be joined at the hip all the time.”

_Going to the bathroom will be a nightmare,_ Hermione thought in a sudden panic. 

“So it would seem,” Snape replied and started unfolding his clothing, slowly putting on the black trousers. “If I’d had my wand, I could at least have transfigured them into a pair of shorts,” he muttered. 

Hermione ‘s brows knitted together at the thought. She’d rather have him dressed in his usual garb, thank you very much.

But he pulled his clothes on, slowly and methodically and with an admirable focus that he seemed to apply into his every action. Hermione watched as he carefully buttoned his shirt and pulled on his trousers. Hermione couldn’t tear her gaze away from his deft hands as they buckled the belt. 

“What are you gawking at?” he asked snidely. “I am starting to think you’ve never seen a man get dressed before.” He tilted his head to the side and his gaze turned calculating. “You’re not a virgin, are you, Gr… Professor Granger?” 

The snort came completely unbidden. “Yeah, right. You would love that, wouldn’t you?” Hermione sneered and narrowed her gaze as she looked at him. “Mollycoddling push-over, insufferable know-it-all and twenty-six-year-old spinster, virgin Professor Hermione Granger. No, I’m sorry to disappoint you, Snape, but I was deflowered quite a few years ago.”

Suddenly, he looked disgusted. “By that Weasley-prat, I imagine.”

“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, in fact, Ronald was the one. And our sex life was just fine.” Hermione jutted her chin out and looked at him defiantly. There had been nothing wrong with their sex-life, except they realized that apart form shagging, they didn’t have all that much in common after all. 

“Until it wasn’t, obviously,” he smirked derisively. “Being bedded by Weasley must be about as interesting as eating lukewarm porridge.”

She snorted again. “That shows you how much you know. Ron is tall, muscular, young and hot. He could go on forever and he wanted to have sex all the time. Not to mention, he’s eager to please!” Hermione had no idea why she revealed that much about her short-lived relationship with Ron, but for some inexplicable reason, she wanted Snape to know that she wasn’t a complete novice when it came to carnal knowledge. Before she and Ron realised they were more friends than lovers, they had both gotten rather adept at pleasing one another in various ways.

The fact that it had been months since she’d had an opportunity to keep her skills sharpened and alert wasn’t Snape’s business. That he just kept looking at her as though he didn’t believe a word she said didn’t escape her. 

Hermione tilted her head to the side as she buttoned her own blouse. It seemed as though Snape had as much trouble looking away while she dressed as the other way around. 

* * * 

“Oh God!” she moaned and threw her head back on the mattress. She was absolutely sure that she had died and gone to heaven. He was pushing up against her, his cock rubbing her, just right, the way she loved it. She shifted to wrap her legs around him. “Keep doing it, that feels so good,” she moaned.

One of his hands clasped at one of her breasts, long fingers flicking across the nipple, almost reverently, and she tilted her hips, to get him closer. Then his free hand snaked between them, inside her knickers, finding that hard, tight nub. 

“Oh!” Pleasure sparked through her body like fireworks at his touch. 

“Off!” he groaned as he twisted his hand, and grasped her knickers. She mewled in disappointment at the loss of his touch, but as he started pulling at the offending clothing she did what she could to help. 

Trying to get more out of her dreamy experience, she darted her tongue out, licking his throat and chin. Then they were kissing. They both tasted like morning breath, but she didn’t care, and he disn’t seem to either. She just tried to protest when he moved away to get her knickers out of the way. 

Everything was hazy and so filled with pleasure that she gave in to the sensations without questioning them. Hermione had never experienced anything like it. And as he crawled back on top of her, throwing the scrap of fabric on the floor carelessly, they both hissed at the sensation of naked skin against naked skin. 

“Merlin! You must… I want you to… I want you,” she gasped. 

“Yessss…” he hissed, taking himself in hand, pushing his cock through her folds, spreading the moisture there. The head brushed over her clit and she moaned. His eyes were like two onyx coals looking at her with fire in them. The long, fine hair fell around his austere face like a black curtain. 

“Now,” she demanded. 

He positioned himself and there was no more teasing, thank Circe! Impatiently, he just thrust inside her. She grunted and pushed back. Nothing ever felt as good as being filled like that. 

So big. So hot. So right. 

Hermione’s eyes rolled back in her head as his thrusts sped up, pounding through her, deep and hard. All that could be heard was their heavy breathing and their sex noises. Thoughts bounced through her head, not making much sense. She was thinking that this must all be a dream, but boy was it vivid…. Having sex right now wasn’t possible, since she was on a deserted island with Severus Snape, and she definitely wasn’t having sex. Not with him. 

Except she was. That big cock thrusting inside her was not a dream. It felt way too real, and it felt way too good. Oh fuck. 

She was having sex. 

Her eyes flew open as she slowly came back to herself, realising that Severus Snape was, in fact, cock-deep inside her. The long fingers of one hand were buried in her hair, as the other still caressed one of her breasts expertly. Not only that, but her legs were tightly wrapped around his slim hips, urging him on eagerly, while he was thrusting – so deliciously – inside her. He groaned, and that silky voice groaning in pleasure just pushed the pleasure up another notch. Good gods, she was going to come. 

But this wasn’t happening. 

It couldn’t happen. No way. 

“What the _fuck_!” she shouted and started pushing him away. His head snapped up from where it was buried as he was eagerly breathing, groaning, licking in the crook between her neck and her shoulder. Grudgingly, she admitted to herself that it was as though he was created to fit there. 

Snape’s eyes widened, mirroring the same shock that she felt. Almost in a panic, he pulled out of her. His retreat was so fast that he almost got caught and tripped over her legs in his mad scramble to get off the bed. She hadn’t had the presence of mind to unlock her legs from his hips. The view as he got on his feet was something else. Snape stood up unsteadily, completely nude, with his excited cock purple, glistening with his juices, and – she realized, most probably – hers as well, and he was magnificent. By god, she would give her eye-teeth to get him back inside her. 

“Shit!” he groaned and grabbed himself as though trying to strangle his cock for being out of line. His face had gone from stark pleasure, to shock, and to pain… then back to burning desire. 

Hermione snapped her legs together, putting her hands between her legs, as though to protect herself from the heat of his gaze, or to make herself come. She didn’t know. All she knew was that she was so swollen, wet and very close to coming. 

“Fuck!” she repeated, wanting so badly to bring herself off. She was so aroused it was almost painful. 

“What the hell did you do?” he grunted hoarsely still clutching his – still rock hard – erection. 

“Me? I didn’t do anything! What did you do? I woke up with your cock up my cu... my qui… inside me!” she snapped. Why was everything always her fault with him?

He looked like he wanted to protest, but no matter how hazy with pleasure they both seemed to be, apparently, he wasn’t so stupid as to try and blame her for accosting him when he had been the one on top. 

“I didn’t do anything either,” he snarled and then grimaced. “I woke up cock-deep inside your cunt.” He seemed to take an exceptional pleasure in using the crude word she hadn’t quite been able to say out loud.

“So we were both asleep? Drugged? What?” she groaned. “Lust potion?”

“Maybe,” he said. “If it is, it’s stronger than any I’ve ever brewed. It’s not going away,” he admitted as the erection certainly wasn’t going away. He was still just as hard, and his balls were still as tight, and Hermione couldn’t take her eyes off him. It was as though his cock could feel her gaze like a caress because it jumped under her scrutiny. She itched to touch him. 

“I know,” she whined. On the contrary. Being apart made it seem worse. Her pussy was still as wet and swollen and her nipples tight as little rocks. All she wanted was to feel his touch on them, his tongue, his hands…something. 

He looked like he wanted to be back inside her as much as she did. “What kind of magic is that?”

“No magic. No wands, remember?” she hissed. 

“Oh fuck. Bollocks! I have to…,” he groaned and walked toward the door. She saw his hand wrap around his cock again, the other cradling his balls. 

“No, stop!” she pleaded. Hermione wasn’t sure if she was more afraid of him getting off without her or going too far so they got sick. 

He halted. They both remembered far too well how instantaneous the nausea would be if they got too far away from one another. 

“This is hell,” Hermione groaned and squirmed restlessly on the bed, her body a quivering mess of longing. “It’s got to be hell.”

“I would have to agree,” Snape hissed. “This is too much. I can’t….” He started moving his hands across his erection, apparently intent on getting himself off and Hermione couldn’t tear her eyes away from him. 

What a waste….

“Bloody hell,” she moaned. Her hands were still buried between her own legs in a protective gesture. 

“You look so fucking hot,” Snape groaned through clenched teeth, as though wanting to cut his own tongue off for betraying him. But his eyes were pure fire as he raked them over her prone body. His gaze fastened upon her small breasts as though he had never seen anything so delicious before in his life. Then his gaze wandered down to where her hands were buried between her legs. “You felt so bloody good around me,” he admitted, his voice hoarse with desire. 

Hermione whimpered. “You felt really good inside me. It’s been too long. I haven’t… “

“Me neither,” he ground out. 

They stared at each other for several moments, his hand stilling on his cock and she moved, pulling her legs apart, spreading them invitingly. “Come back, Sn…Severus,” she begged. 

“Are you sure?” he asked hoarsely. “Because you can’t change your mind after I get inside you. I couldn’t stop again. If you’re not sure…”

“I’m bloody sure,” she hissed. “No matter how much you annoy me, that felt too damn good. I feel so…empty.” The last word came out in something akin to a sob and he was moving lightning fast across the bed. She whimpered as his body covered hers, and he thrust back inside her so fast that she grunted at the impact. Then he started moving inside her. 

“This is going to be over way too quickly,” he warned unsteadily. “I was so very close to coming when…we snapped out of it, whatever it was.”

“Oh God, Severus. Me too, me too. Just…oh!”

Delirious with passion, she rose up to meet his lips and they caught each other in a crushing kiss that ratcheted up the pleasure another notch. She sucked his tongue into her mouth and he moaned appreciatively. Hermione loved the taste of him, the feel of his slick tongue dancing with hers. Without thinking, she buried her hands in his fine hair and pulled it away from his face, seeing nothing but his crooked nose and eyes, shut tightly. Those ridiculously thick eye-lashes were only centimetres away from her own. The noises they were making were unlike any she’d made before while having sex. Everything felt new, raw, and so good. She tilted her hips and he pushed her legs up to wrap around his shoulders and he thrust into her even deeper. 

“Bloody hell, Hermione,” he groaned. “I can’t hold on much longer.” His face was contorted in pleasure and she watched him, shocked at how she had never seen anything so attractive in her. He was sweaty, hair plastered to his brow, and almost looked like he was in pain. All the same, he was gorgeous to her. 

And that glorious cock pumping inside her was pure bliss. Every time he sank into her, they both groaned aloud. It was as though they were both caught in a blaze. 

One of his warm hands sneaked in between them and started flicking against her swollen clit while he used his other to keep himself off her, so as not to crush her beneath his weight. She positively howled as he caressed her, and came almost violently. He followed her instantly, most likely pushed beyond his capability to hold back by her constricting core. 

“Thank god,” he moaned. 

Boneless and sated, she relaxed, and he let her legs down gently, before pulling away and falling onto his back beside her. 

Awkward.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _A/N:_   
>  _Chapter has been expertly beta-read by lilsherlockian1975. I thoroughly appreciate the expediency and the help I have gotten. Kudos to you! More soon people._   
>  _Ladykardasi_

**I Hate Everything About You**   
**Chapter 3**

_Bloody hell,_ Severus thought and didn’t immediately move his arm away from his eyes as he did what he could to regain his composure. _What had happened? Was he still sleeping?_ If he was, he wasn’t sure if he was having a nightmare or the best wet dream in his life. He had just shagged Hermione Granger, and it had been fan-fucking-tastic. Thinking back on the past few minutes, he could admit to himself that he’d been wanting to do that for…years. His entire body was tingling in the aftermath of one of the most glorious orgasms he could remember having in a very long time. Waking up balls deep in this witch was everything he could have ever dreamt of. His reluctance to look at her had more to do with her reaction than his own.

What if she screamed rape or told him what a monumental mistake she had made sleeping with the ugly git of a potions professor that he was? What was he supposed to say or do now? Being a spy for nigh on twenty years had _not_ prepared him for something like this.

“Oh God,” she moaned beside him. “What happened?”

“If you don’t know what that was, I am getting worried,” he snapped still not removing his arm from his eyes. He really didn’t want to see the expression on the witch’s face. “I thought you said that you weren’t a virgin.”

“I’m not. I just haven’t woken up in the middle of a shag before,” she snorted. “Sleepy morning sex, sure, and I have had some quite vivid wet dreams, but that was…I haven’t…not like that.”

“I would imagine not. Nor have I,” he admitted reluctantly. In fact, he hadn’t had any wet dreams for a long time – except waking ones, where she had been the star many times. His cock hadn’t seen any real action for even longer. Until now that was. Being at a boarding school kind of put a stopper in one’s sex life unless you were shagging a colleague….

Removing his arm from his eyes, he finally looked at her face. She didn’t seem angry or disgusted. More puzzled…or maybe even intrigued. Unable to stop himself, he gazed upon her beautiful body.

“It doesn’t feel like I’m dreaming,” Hermione said and sat up on the bed, seemingly not caring that she was naked as the day she was born. Her modesty appeared to have flown out the window after that spectacular…tryst, Severus thought with amusement.

She was slim, with a flat stomach but well-defined muscles. Maybe she was a runner? Her slenderness was far from unappealing with her curvy hips and ample, round breasts. He had a vague memory of how they’d fit just right in his large hands. Her nipples were light pink and small, like perfect little raspberries, and he ached to taste them. He could practically feel his mouth watering at the hazy image.

 _Down boy,_ he told himself sternly. She had given no indication that she would ever want to repeat what they just did.

Before his libido could take over, he moved his legs over the edge of the bed and looked around for the clothing he had shucked before they so inexplicably had fallen into bed to sleep. Time seemed to have little meaning in this place, wherever it was. And though some things felt real, others gave the whole experience the fuzzy edges of a dream.

“What are you doing?” Hermione asked.

“I am going to take a shower, then we should look for something to eat, and perhaps take the time to explore more of this island. We have no idea of how big it is or if there are any other buildings here.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “All right.” She threw her legs over the edge of the bed as well and sauntered over to the door that led to the bathroom.

“What do you think you are doing?” he asked incredulously as she opened the door to the bathroom wide.

“I’m assuming you don’t want to spend your time in here bent over the toilet, throwing up,” she said pointedly.

“Fuck, I’d almost forgotten about that,” he groused, but rose to his feet and walked over to her. Together they went into the bathroom that was fully stocked with soap, towels, shampoo, conditioner or whatever else they might need, even razors. Severus pulled a hand over his face and realized he did need a shave. How long had they been here? Twenty-four hours? More?

Hermione moved past him as he stood glaring at his reflection in the mirror. She looked at him a little sheepishly and her beautiful face coloured as she nodded toward the toilet.

“I…um…I need to…,” she stammered.

He snorted. “Do whatever you need to do. I’m taking a shower.” _Silly girl._ After what they had just done she was embarrassed about using the loo in front of him?

~¤>)§@§(<¤~

They were both showered and dressed. She had put on that flirty little skirt she had found, and she tied the blouse underneath her perky little breasts, leaving her midriff bare and open for his perusal. It was as though after that spectacular shag, he couldn’t stop ogling her. Couldn’t stop wanting to repeat what they had done, repeat it, awake and aware of what they were doing from the get go. He'd been half hard throughout the shower and ever since. It seemed she was pointedly not noticing that particular fact. Severus felt a little disheartened by that fact.

He'd donned his white shirt and the long trousers that someone had left for him. Well, it wasn’t as though he spent any time on tropical islands after all, so he supposed whoever was supplying them with clothing hadn’t found anything more suitable. If he’d had his wand he could have at least transfigured them into cotton or linen or something a bit less stifling than wool. He might even consider turning them into something lighter than black. He hesitated a moment at the door to the cottage and felt the sun burn down on his black trousers.

“Let’s go then,” she said and swept her arm toward the small path leading away from the little house toward the beach. He nodded and trailed after her. Her pert little bottom looked delicious in the short skirt she was wearing, and her toned legs did nothing to dampen that libido of his.

They had eaten some fruit and cold meats after getting dressed, and Severus was wondering if there was a house-elf hiding somewhere on the island, an elf that only appeared when they weren’t around. There was no food in the house, they’d checked – nothing to prepare at any rate. All the cupboards in the small kitchen were empty, and the muggle refrigerator only contained cold drinks, such as different juices, a few muggle sodas, some beer and a couple of bottles of fresh, fruity wine. Instead of having to cook, food appeared on the table in the little kitchen, ready to be eaten and it seemed that as soon as they turned their backs, something or someone took the dishes away.

As he had suspected, it was very hot outside, almost unbearably so, and the respite the shower might have given them was soon gone. The sun was shining relentlessly from a clear blue sky and the waves were lapping lazily at the sandy beach. Dreamlike indeed. But the sweat that trickled down his back, and on his forehead, didn’t feel like a dream. He wished he could have cast a cooling charm, but the wandless spells he had tried to cast hadn’t worked. He was wondering if there were some magic suppression going on or if they were simply dreaming. The mere idea that they might be without their magic completely was a thought he didn’t even want to consider. Irritably he started rolling up the sleeves of his shirt and she stopped automatically, turning around to look at him.

“We could tear off the legs of your trousers, so you’d have a pair of shorts instead.”

He just glared at her at the suggestion. _Shorts? Not in_ this _life time._

They kept walking and soon discovered that walking around the island didn’t take long. It couldn’t be more than two kilometres around, and they returned to the little house and the swimming pool quite quickly. Severus was sure their walk hadn’t taken more than half an hour, and as far as they could tell from the beach front, there weren’t any other buildings. Just palm trees, grass and sandy beaches. And sea. Lots of sea.

As they returned to the house, he was wondering about the swimming pool. It was filled with clear blue water and was obviously chlorinated. Where did the sweet water come from and who took care of the pool? And why in Merlin’s name was it even there when there were sandy beaches and water as far as the eye could see?

“I wonder if there are sharks in the water,” Hermione mused aloud as though she had read his mind. It was the first thing either of them had said for a very long time.

Severus nodded thoughtfully. She could be right about that. Without a wand he wasn’t getting into the water to find out, no matter how inviting the beaches and sea appeared to be. Looking out at the surf, it seemed like the water would be quite shallow for a long, good while, but he also knew that sharks didn’t need very deep water to swim.

“Most people think that the Great Whites are the most dangerous sharks, but there’s a species called Bull Sharks that thrive in shallow and warm water,” Hermione informed him. “They can even live in brackish and sweet water. Many shark attacks attributed to other species are in fact done by Bull Sharks.”

“Be that as it may,” Snape sneered. “I’m not getting in there to find out.”

“Have you ever swum in the sea?” Hermione asked wistfully, looking out at the clear blue, beautiful water. “It would have been nice, but I don’t think we should risk it. Especially since we don’t have our wands.”

“Look,” Severus said and pointed out at the water maybe fifty meters out. It was so clear that seeing far out into the sea was no trouble and what he saw was a reddish, translucent round shape with long threadlike appendages trailing behind. “Jellyfish. I am not going into the water,” he sneered.

“It’s a red one, too. Some of those are poisonous. That kind of explains the swimming pool. It’s as I thought before,” Hermione sighed loudly. “This isn’t Heaven. It’s Hell.”

“Just as hot as, anyway,” Severus groused. “I wonder if we’re anywhere near Australia. That place is crawling with poisonous and dangerous creatures. I don’t understand how the Muggles can take it.”

“I’d rather run into a hoard of Blast Ended Screwts than a jelly fish or a shark,” Hermione said and wrinkled her nose. Severus snorted, and realised that their discussion right then really drove home how incredibly British they both were. “I don’t know if that makes us cowards or not, but there you have it.”

“I’m not a coward,” Severus sneered. “I am merely sensible.”

~¤>)§@§(<¤~

As they returned to the cottage they were both sweating profusely. The pool seemed like the most inviting thing ever.

“Let’s go for a swim,” Hermione said and started undoing the knot she had made of her shirt. Severus swallowed and knew that he would have to get undressed if he were to swim. Briefly he considered just refusing to get into the water but admitted to himself that he might just faint dead away if he didn’t cool himself down somehow. But she would see the state he was in. Having been at half-mast for the last hour or so, he was hardening further as she slowly removed the blouse, revealing those perky little breasts. He nearly groaned.

“I…,” he started.

“Oh, come on, Severus. It’s not like I haven’t seen all of it before,” she grinned and pulled the skirt down without preamble.

He knew he shouldn’t stare, but still he kept looking at her. _Perfection._ Her long, frizzy, chestnut curls framed her face like a halo. She was even more beautiful than he’d ever imagined – and imagined it he had. Many times, and now she had let him fuck her, albeit unintentionally.

“Why did you…” he halted. Wouldn’t _that_ sound needy and insecure? “Why did you let me…do _that_ …to you?” he continued even as he winced inwardly.

“You mean, why did I let you fuck me?” she asked and tilted her head to the side.

“Yes.”

She looked at him then and her gaze roamed his body; there was heat in those cinnamon eyes. “I was horny,” she said and licked her lips, raking his body with her gaze. She looked rather happy with what she saw. “Come to think of it. I still am.”

Severus’ cock twitched beneath his wool trousers, getting even harder.

“Give a man a break. I might not be old for a wizard, but I’m not eighteen anymore. It’s been what – an hour?” he snorted.

“It’s my dream,” Hermione said and got down on all fours, crawling in his general direction. Her round breasts even looked a little bit bigger as she moved toward him. This time, his cock did more than twitch. He was definitely interested. “In dreams you get what you want. And I want you, again.”

Evidently, he was even more eager than he’d thought, and she grinned as her slender hand moved to the fastening of his belt. It clanked as she undid it deftly. 

“Looks like you don’t need to be eighteen,” she said smugly and leered at the prominently tented trousers as she pulled the buttons free. As soon as the placket was open, his cock sprang free and nearly poked her eye out, she was so close.

Hermione laughed in delight. “Yes, just as eager as I am evidently.”

She gripped his hard flesh and Severus groaned aloud when she started moving her delicate fingers across his cock and the sound he let out when she leaned forward, taking him into her mouth, was flat out embarrassing. The look in her eyes was driving him mad. Nobody had ever looked at him that way before, like he was the centre of her universe. Why was she looking at him that way? But as her tight little fist closed around the head of his cock and he could feel her smearing the clear liquid from the top around his glans, he lost all capacity for rational thought.

“Oh, Merlin’s turgid cock, woman!”

She lifted her gaze and met his, and then grinned wickedly. “I thought this was _your_ turgid cock,” she quipped.

He would have growled at her bad pun if he’d had the wherewithal, but instead he hissed as she returned to her task.

~¤>)§@§(<¤~

Hermione had no idea what possessed her, but he looked so very appetizing where he stood. The white shirt was only half buttoned, and the sleeves were folded up to his elbows, showing his oh, so attractive arms. He was even more sexy now than he had been in the nude, and that was saying something. Seeing him so elegantly dressed in this tropical environment was a turn-on, even though for him the clothes he wore were decidedly casual.

His hair was brushed away from his face and the sharp features seemed a little softer than usual. She supposed a shag would relax even Severus Snape and the warm tropical sun and the allure of a swim might relax him even more.

Severus’ nose was as prodigious as always, but she had long ago admitted that she thought it fit the rest of his features, strong, sharp, prominent and, above all, powerful. His lips were relaxed and seemed eminently kissable when they weren’t twisted into a nasty sneer. Dark brown, almost black eyes watched her intently as her fingers moved over his cock while it swelled under her touch. Determinedly, she pushed his trousers off him and he kicked them away. Now he stood before her, clad only in his white dress shirt, that seemed almost luminous in the glaring sun.

His body was wiry, to the point of being thin and the muscles were long and ropey, rather than bulging, and she found that his physique was appealing to her. She’d fantasized many a time on what his body would look like under those black, billowing robes and tightly buttoned frock coat. Dressed, she found him sexy. Undressed, he was no less appealing. Severus’ shoulders were wider than his hips, and the pale-skinned chest had a smattering of black hairs, thicker around the pink nipples and growing sparser as her gaze travelled down to his navel. Below his navel the hair grew thicker in a lovely treasure trail, ending in a thick nest around his balls and cock. His legs matched the rest of his body, slim but nicely defined, and again with a smattering of black hairs covering his thighs and shins. His feet were long and elegant. In short, he was very much hotter than she’d expected.

He was fully hard now and she realized he was quite large, although not grotesquely so. He was thick and long enough, but Hermione was quite adamant that girth was more important than length anyway and his cock had been more than satisfying the first time around. Seeing it for the first time was nice though.

_I’m holding Professor Snape’s cock in my hand._

_Finally._

And a lovely cock it was, soft like velvet and hard as steel at the same time. She caressed him experimentally and holding him in her hand like this made her core throb and her mouth go dry. Oh, how she wanted this man. It was as though their previous encounter had opened the flood gates. As though giving into that act had made her realise and admit that this was what she had wanted all along.

“The most passionate moments in my life for a long while has been our arguments,” she admitted quietly. “They kept me going, when I thought I couldn’t have anything else from you.”

He looked completely gobsmacked at her words. Stunned and…hopeful. He opened his mouth and then closed it again, as though he was about to say something but then thought better of it. Hermione found she really, really wanted to know what he was about to say.

“What were you going to say?” she prodded.

“I was just going to admit that I feel the same way,” he gritted out. “I didn’t think you’d ever want me.”

“And oh, boy, were you wrong about that,” she snickered.

He laughed then. Hermione felt like a gaping fish. She’d never heard him laugh before. Not that she could remember anyway.

“Please continue,” he hissed when she reflexively gripped around his shaft, moving her hand across it, feeling the bulging vein on the underside, the crisp black hair around his taut sac. She moved her other hand to cup his balls tenderly, scraping them carefully with her nails and he groaned aloud. The sound was like setting a match to tinder.

“I want you again, and it would be nice to be awake through the whole thing,” she quipped, and his lips twitched a little.

“It would,” he agreed, and gasped as her fingers brushed over the head of his cock, smearing his pre-ejaculate over it, again making the strokes more fluid and even. His eyes fluttered shut as she kept her ministrations going for a little while before leaning forward, breathing on the tip of his cock. Severus’ eyes flew open and he watched her incredulously as she moved closer to him, sticking her tongue out and giving his cock a lick as though it had been a lolly. When her tongue reached the frenulum, she opened her mouth and took his glans into her, swirling her tongue around it. Again, he couldn’t contain a groan, as it apparently escaped him without permission.

“Oh, Hermione,” he hissed. “That feels so good.”

She didn’t respond with anything other than a slightly quicker pace and once more scratching his bollocks lightly with her fingernails.

~¤>)§@§(<¤~

Her mouth on him felt better than anything had a right to feel. Even having had an orgasm less than a couple of hours ago, her lips and tongue moving all over his shaft was heavenly. He was tingling all over and the pleasure derived from her touch was something he hadn’t felt in much too long. He had to admit he feared that he might shoot his load any time now, and he really didn’t want to come so fast. Merlin only knew how often, or even _if,_ he would get the chance to bury himself inside her again. Being inside a woman’s warm, wet cunt was the best thing in the world, and being inside Hermione was otherworldly. Her might even tell her that…some time.

With Herculean effort, Severus put his fingers into Hermione’s wild hair and gently, but urgently pulled her off his cock.

“Hey! I was enjoying that,” she groused.

“As was I,” he admitted. “A little too much, perhaps,” he continued ruefully.

“Oh, but that’s all right,” Hermione said. “I don’t mind swallowing.”

“I will file that away for another time,” he responded. “But right now. I’d like to return the favour if you don’t mind. Let’s go inside and make use of that bed of ours.”

 _Ours._ That simple little word made his heart beat faster in his chest and her lust filled eyes seemed to widen even more at that statement. “Oh, would you? I’ve never… nobody has ever….”

“Has no one ever eaten your pussy, Miss Granger? Is that wat you’re trying to tell me?” He smirked, delighted at the idea of being the first wizard to introduce her to this particular pleasure. “What a fucking shame.” 

“I never asked for it, and nobody ever offered. I thought maybe it was too disgusting. I’ve heard of men doing it of course.”

“Oh, I assure you. It is not disgusting; it is divine.”

She blushed scarlet, rose to her feet and they went inside.

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Information about Sharks, jelly fish and other less savory animal Life is taken from wikipedia._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Beta reader for this chapter; sounding board, SPAG, Brit-pick and general support: lillsherlockian1975._

**Chapter 4**

~¤>)§@§(<¤~

“Lie down,” Severus ordered and pushed her lightly onto the bed. Hermione did as she was told and let her eyes roam freely over his body. As they left the pool side, he had pulled up his trousers and closed the fly, but they were impressively tented still, and the belt hung open around his waist. His white dress shirt still hung open and let her have tantalising little glimpses of his wiry body underneath as he moved. She could salivate at the mere view of him, as he knelt gracefully in front of her, pushing her knees up so her heels rested on the edge of the bed.

“Perfect,” he murmured, and Hermione felt her skin burn hot with embarrassment. She felt utterly exposed. 

“Relax,” he instructed, his silky voice soft as a caress, and she felt goose bumps appear on her inner thighs as his breath ghosted over the sensitive skin. His warm, dry hands were resting on her knees and she really wanted them to move closer to her core. She was wet from the arousal she had felt when she sucked him off and his touch only amplified her desire. 

As though he had heard her thoughts – maybe he had? – he brushed his hand lightly across her inner thigh, then leaned forward and let his lips trail after the barely-there touch of his fingertips. She gasped. Little tendrils of pleasure wandered from her thighs toward her core and she closed her eyes. 

“Do you like that, Miss Granger?” he teased. 

“Yes,” she gasped. “Please don’t stop.” 

“Since you ask so nicely.” A slightly firmer touch followed, and he kept kissing her, then allowed his tongue to come into play, but not where she really wanted it. Her thighs were sensitive, but he had promised something more, and she was desperately looking forward to it. Nobody had ever really taken the time to pleasure her specifically with their hands, let alone their mouth. She had enjoyed sex and she had experienced orgasms with a partner, but mostly because she was one of those lucky women who could come from penetration alone. 

Licking along her thigh, the warm, wet and surprisingly firm touch of his tongue made her shiver. “Oh, more,” she begged. “More.” 

He kept his slow, teasing pace and didn’t allow her to hurry him along. Apparently, he was going to enjoy this to its fullest and there was nothing she could do about it. As he licked the crease where her thigh met her pelvis, sliding along the outside of her quim, she couldn’t help it; her hands moved from her sides and into his long, black hair, not to guide him, just to feel him, there. 

She looked up and met his gaze where he was lying between her legs. His hair was mussed, and his eyes were half lidded with arousal. He was apparently enjoying this every bit as much as she was. It was fantastic. Hermione didn’t know there were men who actually enjoyed eating pussy. But boy was she glad she had found one who did. Their gazes met and held, and she could see the mischief in his eyes and wondered what she might expect. 

“Uhhhnnn!” Hermione groaned as she got her answer. His tongue finally reached its destination and fluttered across her outer lips. Gods, that was…different. The pleasure spiked in an almost painful stab, pooling in her groin. It was sublime. In fact, she had never felt anything like it. That firm, wet and agile caress of his tongue and his lips was something else entirely. 

He continued prodding her outer lips apart, then licking languidly from her vagina to her clitoris. “Oh, Merlin’s gonads, that feels so good,” she nearly sobbed. 

“You are entirely too coherent,” Severus chuckled. 

By the time his tongue started swirling around her inner lips, Hermione was sure she couldn't think, let alone utter anything coherent. He then sucked them into his mouth, licking, pulling at them lightly.

“Ah!” she moaned. The ache in her core was becoming unbearable as he kept sucking her. Following the licks, he let his teeth graze ever so gently along the sensitive flesh. As she groaned again, he moved up a little and swirled his tongue around her clitoris, sucking it, then licking. She could feel her clit filling with blood rapidly, feel her quim swell with arousal. She couldn’t remember ever being so horny ever before. As he set to his task with a singlemindedness that Hermione thoroughly appreciated the orgasm built slowly inside her. 

“Oh, I’m going to…oh, god, Severus!”

She bucked underneath him, pushing her quim into his face and she could swear he was laughing as he held her down, firmly, but not painfully so. She finally shattered into a million pieces in a spectacular orgasm that lasted far longer than she had experienced before. It roared through her body in waves. 

“I want you, Severus. In me. Now.”

Severus said nothing, but she could hear the clinking of his belt as it clacked against the buttons of his trousers. He opened them jerkily and pulled them both up onto the bed completely. She barely had time to spread her legs enough to give him room before he drove inside her in one powerful thrust. 

They both groaned aloud at the sensation as he filled her. She tightened her muscles around him on reflex and he felt so good. It was different from how it usually felt being penetrated. After his thorough attention to her pussy, she was puffy and swollen and his cock felt even larger inside her. Why had nobody ever deemed her worthy of such ministrations before? Hermione moved her hands over his back, the soft cotton of his shirt slightly damp from his sweat, but it was clean sweat, and he smelled really nice. 

“Oh, fuck, woman!” he moaned. “Fucking you is so good. If I’d known how spectacular it would be, I might have pushed you over the desk in my office and shagged you right there.”

“I wish you had, Severus. We’ve wasted so much time.”

“Mm,” he agreed and buried his face in the crook of her neck and sucked and licked and bit. She shivered all over at his touch. The sting of his bite disappeared as he licked away the pain. Pulling out of her almost entirely, he then thrust in as hard and long as he could. Hermione lifted her legs, revelling in the sensation as he reached even deeper inside her, hitting her cervix with every single thrust. Women who said that size didn’t matter were clearly delusional, or maybe it was something else that made their coming together so fantastic? She pushed her fingers through his fine hair and pulled him from the crook of her neck, so she could kiss him. Groaning together their kisses grew frantic and wild. Pulling back he looked her straight in the eyes, and the connection felt almost electrical.

Their rocking became faster, and somewhat erratic. The hard thrust and slide of his cock moving inside her cunt had her almost cry out in pleasure. Hermione wrapped her legs around his waist and he moved his hands to her arse and squeezed her, pulling her toward him for each thrust. 

“Oh, Hermione, I’m going to come,” he hissed. “It’s too good, I cannot hold back.”

“Yes, come for me, Severus,” she urged him on. 

She was probably not going to… Oh, wait, she _was._

“I’ll be coming with you,” she almost laughed and they both flew apart nearly simultaneously. She could feel him jerk inside her just as her own orgasm rolled over her. 

“Oooooh,” she groaned. 

His breath caught in his throat as her muscles contracted around his sensitive cock and he moved erratically as though her orgasming around him seemed to prolong his climax. 

He rolled to the side, but pulled her with him, and kept his arm around her body as they tried to catch their breaths. 

“I don’t know who sent us here, or how they did it, but it seems I may have to thank them instead of hexing them,” Severus said. 

“Yeah, I know. I wholeheartedly agree. But I wonder who did it? Where are we and how did we get here?”

“I’m pretty sure I know who we have to think for this special little vacation,” Severus snorted. 

“Who? Minerva and Filius?” Hermione lifted her head and looked at him. He looked thoroughly fucked and absolutely adorable with his hair sticking out in every direction and his lips red and swollen from their kisses. _Oh, boy, I’ve got it bad when I think that Severus Snape is adorable_ , Hermione thought. 

“I’m sure Minerva is part of it, and perhaps Filius, too, but I’m quite certain that a particular meddling old fart is part of the whole scheme.”

“Dumbledore? But how could he be involved; he’s only a portrait.”

“He might not be able to actually do something himself, but he can be a singularly persuasive old poof, and I’m sure he could talk Minerva into just about anything. Especially if she thinks that it would put an end to our bickering.” 

Hermione nodded. “We’ve been pretty bad, haven’t we?”

“I dare say we have,” Severus agreed and let his hand move along her vertebrae in a languid caress. “It was the only way I could alleviate some of the frustration.” 

“Sexual frustration,” Hermione snickered. 

“Indeed. You have no idea how many times I had to run to my quarters to wank after we’d had one of our “arguments”. I’ve had some decent orgasms thinking about you,” Severus smirked. 

“You and me both,” Hermione replied.

~¤>)§@§(<¤~

“Don’t you think they’ve been alone together for long enough by now?” Dumbledore asked. “It’s been several days. Either they should be getting friendly or they are about ready to murder one another.”

Minerva chuckled. ”They are not killing each other, that much is certain.” 

”How do you know?” he asked and furrowed his brow. 

Minerva rummaged around in her desk for a while until she found something. “Ha! There it is.” She held up a rock that looked like an ordinary amethyst. “This,” she said and smirked. 

However, the amethyst was glowing a deep, bright purple, as though lit by a small sun from inside. “If they were dead set on killing each other, this crystal would be so pale purple, it would seem almost grey. As you can see, it is not.”

“So, that purple tells us that they are…friendly?” Dumbledore said sceptically. 

“Friendly,” Minerva giggled. Actually giggled. “You could certainly say that.” 

Dumbledore laughed. “Well, then we shouldn’t bring them out of there just yet.”

“I agree.” 

“Let’s just allow them to have their fun for a while. Severus certainly deserves a break.” Dumbledore’s face suddenly fell and there was no twinkling in his eyes. He just looked sad and a little bit tired. “It is the first time there is something I can do for the boy since….” 

Minerva pressed her lips together into a thin line. “You could say that again,” she muttered.

**Author's Note:**

> _Feedback is worth its weight in gold. Seriously, it keeps an author going. Doesn't have to be novel length and concrit is welcomed. Just be nice about it._   
>  __Lady K__


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